


Where Did All This Seaweed Come From?

by Sharkseye



Series: Lets Try This Again... [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean is Lucifer, M/M, Mutilation, POV Multiple, Pranks, Torture, Vague Explainations, kinda a vessel!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-07 22:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/753784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharkseye/pseuds/Sharkseye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer calms down by taking out his frustrations on a brother, Castiel makes an addition to his garrison and Paimon and Gabriel pull pranks.  They didn't do anything though, completely innocent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cage, Castiel's Garrison, Ancient Jerusalem and The Place Between

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so there's torture at the beginning of the fic due to a request for Raphael whump. If you don't want to read it just read up until the *, then skip until the last two or so sentences of Lucifer's POV. There was going to be more, but then all of sudden--A wild 'epiphany transition into the next section that isn't posted yet' appeared!--I had another idea.
> 
> The next chapter will be Gabriel, Sam, and Paimon taking down Famine, which is set before this chapter. It'll also have some Meg, and maybe some Death raising. If no one requests that last bit though, I'm not going to write it, cause I really don't want to. Really sorry about the whole time jumps, those parts just wouldn't write for me. And this is a little while after the last chapter. Not too far, but a little while

Slowly Lucifer twisted the knife, burying it up to the hilt and listening dispassionately as his younger brother screamed.  The last time Lucifer had been here, in this makeshift stretch that dissolved the boundaries of his cage, he had been torturing Raphael in a fury, using everything he had ever learned to gain retribution for the harm brought to his mate.  This time he was treading a fine line, unnerved after raising and speaking with Death. 

After giving Meg the necessary tools for getting what he wanted, Lucifer had decided that even while resting he could actually be doing something useful.  That errant thought expanded into him finding alternative methods of raising Death until he found one he actually liked, wouldn’t do too much damage and wouldn’t bind Death so as to avoid his anger.  Surprisingly enough, it had actually worked.  Lucifer had spoken with Death and been abruptly reminded of how insignificant he really was, in the face of such a greater power.  Really great ego booster, Death was.  Anyways, the conversation had led to quite a few souls leaving hell and unfortunately, somehow managed to unearth a lot of stress Lucifer had previously managed to lock away.  Honestly, while Lucifer didn’t actually believe Death could reap God, he knew for a fact that the horseman could reap him and everyone he knew without a care in the world.  And the staid and bored attitude the guy had? Pretty much completely terrifying.

Lucifer had needed an outlet after that conversation, which had brought him here.  Doing something physical that was relatively mindless and could stabilize him.  Originally he had been debating on torturing some human souls, but then Cas arrived, wanting to know how the whole deal with Death went.  This of course led to some _fantastic_ fucking and the irritating reminder of what Raphael had done to his mate, making his decision for him.  Castiel had gone back to his garrison, but Lucifer had gone to his cage.  He had made a circle of holy fire around it, warped one of the sides and then just went at it.  Not exactly the best way of torturing someone inside a cage while outside, but it’d have to do, what with it being the only way. 

*Annoyed for no reason, Lucifer yanked the knife back out of Raphael’s wing joint, biting his lip and standing back to examine the younger archangel.  Raphael was missing quite a few wings from Lucifer tearing them off, but the remainder Lucifer had turned to tatters, all still attached, but in shreds, the electricity sheared off and discarded to get to the grace flows underneath.  Walking slowly around Raphael, he lunged forwards at movement and sank the knife in Raphael’s vessels arm, pinning him to the ground so he couldn’t follow Lucifer’s progress out of his line of sight.  The younger archangel tensed as Lucifer moved his hand to rest over the place where a wing connected to his vessel.  Letting out his true form claws, Lucifer sank them into the wings about a centimeter deep and dragged his hand backwards, creating wavy lines as Raphael struggled.  This was always a fun part, as it was the most sensitive and quickest to heal, so quickest to be able to pull apart again. 

Jabbing his thumbs into the wing, Lucifer pulled it apart, revealing the thick flow of grace that a human would call a bone, the part of the wing that couldn’t heal.  He hadn’t actually ever taken one of these apart and was curious to see what it looked like when carved.  He’d have to do this delicately though, since they snapped so easy.  Circling back around Raphael, he ignored the whimpers of pain and pulled Raphael’s wrists apart, growing thorns from the ground to bind them.  He glanced at Raphael’s face for a second and then did a double take at the hatred painted across it, a wide grin spreading across his own.  Oh, he had forgotten how fun it was to play with someone who took a long time to break.  Unfortunately Lucifer didn’t have the time needed to fully break him—any more warping the cage and he might accidently get sucked back in—but he didn’t really want to, that wasn’t the purpose of this.  Still, this time would have to be either last or second last time he indulged himself. 

After finishing tying Raphael down and receiving a few hits for his efforts, Lucifer once again admired the bound archangel.  His wings were forcibly spread out in a submissive hold, and his vessel was star shaped and naked on the ground, covered in blood and grace.  Lucifer crouched down beside him, making sure to grind down into Raphael’s shredded wings and summoned a short blade, positioning it over the wing he had opened up and efficiently cutting away everything except the bone grace flow.  To his amusement, Raphael managed to hold out from screaming for the time it took Lucifer to clean up, and he took great glee in thinning and sharpening the tip of his knife to his requirements.  Making a quick decision, Lucifer heated up the blade instead of freezing it and very carefully made the first cut, carving a design through the wing similar to one he had seen as a human in a museum.  A ironwork wastebasket that he had laughed to Sam about, mentioning how it was full of holes and therefore pretty much useless.  Sam had bitchfaced and said it was art. 

Raphael started screaming even before Lucifer had replicated half of the design.  By the time Lucifer was finished, the younger archangel had been reduced to a sobbing mess, doing a perfect imitation of the mud-monkeys he so hated when they were being tortured.  He mentioned this casually to Raphael, the first time either one of them had said anything that wasn’t garbled noise.  Raphael muttered something in return, but Lucifer didn’t quite catch it.

“What was that?” He asked, leaning over and shifting his weight, delighting in the choked off scream that that motion gained him.

 It took a few seconds for Raphael to regain his composure, but then he turned to look at Lucifer, his eyes blazing.  “Michael is going to fight and kill you.  He will destroy you and that piece of filth that is your mate, along with everyone who you endeavor to protect.” 

At the slight against Cas, Lucifer wrenched up Raphael’s head and smashed it back down on the ground, snarling in rage. “You don’t fucking get to talk about Cas, he’s far better than you ever were.”

“You don’t, disagree that Michael will kill you” Raphael gasped when he could speak again, coughing up blood and trying to fight through a dazes “You know your time is limited, and yet you spend it all down here instead of with Castiel.  I wonder why.”

 

~*~

 

“So we’ll be working with the humans” Rachael confirmed, a slight grimace on her face that Castiel could almost sympathize with.  He would probably think the idea only slightly less distasteful if it was any other humans, but he considered Sam and Bobby Singer good allies if not friends.  He wasn’t sure about the rest of the hunters who went in and out of Bobby’s house, but they couldn’t be terrible if the older hunter trusted them.

“As long as we need to.  We will have to decide what practices to keep when this apocalypse is over though.”  Castiel agreed.  They had already decided that they would be working with the hunters for spells that required human blood or interaction, but furthermore Castiel wanted to teach his garrison free will.  He knew he hadn’t yet gotten all the idiosyncrasies of free will learned yet, but he was a long ways from where he had been in the beginning.  His goal now was helping to get his garrison and Lucifer out of danger of the apocalypse, but as soon as it was over he’d be implementing free will. 

Castiel felt the ridiculous urge to snort at that thought, briefly blaming Lucifer for the habit and fondly recalling the habits Lucifer seemed to have picked up from Castiel himself.  Rachael mentioned a couple of angels who were looking for defensive weapons and then flew off, allowing Castiel to also leave.  He briefly checked on Lucifer, satisfied to feel him relatively normal before landing just outside his garrison borders, sending a quick prayer to Balthazar and waiting.

“Cassie!” Balthazar exclaimed in greeting, taking careful stock of the seraph and laughing.  “Look at your wings!”

Castiel cocked his head to the side in curiosity.  Lucifer had fixed up all the damage Raphael had done to his wings—completely neglecting himself, as Dean had always been known to do—so it couldn’t be that.  Then he recognized the emotion Balthazar was displaying and blushed.  Lucifer and Castiel had continued the practice of marking by grooming their seeds into each others wings and Castiel knew he smelled extremely strongly of the devil, not even mentioning the streaks of grace that had released at the same time.  The last time had been quite recent, after Lucifer raised Death.

“Hello Balthazar” Castiel glared admonishingly, knowing it wasn’t working at all as Balthazar just continued to laugh. 

“Always knew you had it in you, seducing an archangel” Balthazar chuckled, shaking his head

Attempting to get the topic back to something more comfortable and useful, Castiel changed it “Have you managed to acquire anything of use?”

He snorted at Castiel’s bluntness but nodded “A few things.  I take it you want me to give them to your garrison.”

“I want you to join my garrison.” Castiel countered, stepping closer to the other angel. “It won’t take long for heaven to realize you’ve been stealing from them and you’d be safer if you had the protection my garrison guarantees.  Even on the off-chance we can’t handle it Lucifer is backing us up.  Raphael attacked us two days ago and he got here in seconds, got Raphael out and locked him in Lucifer’s cage.  It would benefit you to join up”

Balthazar looked shocked at the information about Raphael but took it in stride, swirling alcohol around in a glass Castiel hadn’t noticed he was holding, but was practically a fixed part of Balthazar.  Slowly he sounded out, “And if I did, what would I be expected to do?”

Castiel smiled softly, “Nothing you aren’t doing now.  You would be on weapon obtaining duty if anyone complained”

Balthazar snorted at the idea of angels complaining, but finally caved as Castiel knew he would.  Balthazar was like a demon in that way, he had a very keen sense of self preservation. “Then alright, I’ll join your garrison.”

Castiel released his grace and curled it into Balthazar’s wings as he created his mark, blaming the satisfaction he felt on Lucifer rubbing off some of his possessiveness.   Balthazar shivered as he was reopened to garrison radio and spoke again before Castiel could.

“If you don’t mind, I’m not going to store the weapons here, but I may steal some protection ideas.” Balthazar announced, spreading his wings in preparation to fly.

“Set up a room for them anyways.  You don’t need to use it, but it’s always good to have a fallback.” Castiel requested and sent a mental message through garrison radio “I’ve asked Rachael to tell you the free rooms.”

Balthazar grinned fondly and disappeared without replying.  Castiel could hear Rachael and him conversing though and so wasn’t concerned. 

For a second Castiel just stood outside the borders, taking the chance to listen to his mates song where it wasn’t blurred by the many wards and protections they had up.  It was amazing to be able to think of Lucifer as his mate even though they probably had it coming since Castiel first raise him from perdition.  The fact that Dean turned out to be an archangel and still wanted Castiel was astounding.  A burst of a confused and discordant noise that humans would call cymbals shivered across Lucifer’s song and Castiel frowned, slightly worried.  Before he could comment however determination won out in a build up of snare beats and uncommon triangles.  The bright pings from the triangles further threw Castiel off, but at least now he knew it was nothing bad.  Lucifer only sounded like the high notes of most angels when he had a purpose.  Deciding to leave him be, Castiel flew, stretching his wings but briefly stopping when he smelt something familiar, a clean ozone scent that reminded him of heaven.  He held still for a few moments, but the small was gone as quickly as it came.  Deciding it was nothing, Castiel left.

 

~*~

 

Paimon suppressed a laugh, attempting to look as innocent as possible while he denied Sam’s accusation, “I have no idea what you’re talking about”

Gabriel nodded guiltlessly beside him and Sam—who was standing in front of them looking like he had gone three rounds with some sort of seaweed monster—just pulled up that annoyed expression Lucifer referred to as _the bitchface_.

“Oh, so neither of you have any idea on why the cupboards of an abandoned house were filled with seawater.” Sam hissed in an angry tone.  The kid was seriously getting too worked up over things, Paimon decided.  It wasn’t either of their faults that someone had decided—since they were just taking a break by going around finding holy oil—it wouldn’t really be that bad of an idea to have some fun.  And maybe that idea of fun was going through a house in ancient Jerusalem and filling all the higher nooks and crannies with ocean water.  Maybe they had even set it so that everything would pour out all at once, as soon as Sam moved something.  But really, it definitely wasn’t Paimon and Gabriel.  They were far too somber to get up to such tricks.

“Well now that’s really odd” Gabriel agreed, narrowing his eyes as if thoughtful.  “Are you sure you didn’t just imagine it?”

Sam just sputtered without answer and Gabriel gave him mercy, grinning like a fool and clapping Sam on the back.  “It’s good for you Sammy boy!”

Sam just glared more and Paimon dissolved into peals of laughter as Gabriel’s face fell slightly.  Evidently the archangel was hoping for a better reaction.  Considering the way he had been acting around Sam for the past while that they’d all been stuck together, Paimon wouldn’t have been surprised if Gabriel even apologized.  It was freaking hilarious the amount of childish wooing that was going on.

“Don’t do it again” Sam finally said, relenting at Gabriel’s pout then glaring at Paimon who was still completely unrepentant. 

“But it was funny, you have to admit!” Paimon pressed, not willing to let it go as fast as Gabriel had.  It wasn’t that he wanted harm to befall Sam, it’s just there was just no lost loyalty between them.  Paimon found he was the equivalent of friends with the Gabriel, but other than him, Lucifer, Castiel and some members of Paimon’s garrison, Paimon didn’t see why he would ever need to expand that circle.

“Not when we’re hundreds of years in the past and could be targeted by angels from now _or_ our time.” Sam protested

“I solemnly swear that the next time you’re drenched in seawater that you will be in a familiar setting and the right time” Gabriel promised, somewhat ruining the supposed solemnity by barely repressing a grin, but making up for it by snapping his fingers and cleaning Sam off.

“Thanks” Sam muttered before turning back to the reason they were there. “Did you at least find any holy oil?”

“Two jars that were spilled in a few days during a heavy windstorm, they won’t be missed.” Gabriel announced in glee and Sam actually looked curious, forgetting the previous incident enough to open his mouth to reply

Sensing a long and drawn out conversation about time travel that Gabriel would probably indulge Sam in because the archangel was so fond of the hunter, Paimon quickly interjected. “If you two are going to speak about the future in past tense and don’t need me here, I’ll take the holy oil and be off”

He glanced at Gabriel as he said so and knew the archangel understood.  They replied in negative and Paimon was unable to resist leaving with a suggestive wink, amused at how quickly he could make Sam go red.  The three of them had been working on both defensive stuff and the other horsemen heaven had released, Famine and Pestilence, for a little while now.  Castiel’s garrison had gotten Pestilence but Gabriel, himself, Sam and Bobby had had to go after Famine.  Definitely not a pleasant experience, but one that gave Paimon _loads_ of teasing material.  Thinking about it, Gabriel really wasn’t the only five year-old here.

With a grin from his last thought, Paimon dipped through the place between, intent on going back to the present.  Time warped in it, twisting and turning with the galaxies that were created and then lost.  Instead of leaving right away however, he paused as he came across a section about a square kilometer big, covered in sparking electricity that stood out starkly against the black and colors of its surroundings.  He recognized it from what Heat looked—and still looks—like from Lucifer’s missing wings.  Evidently Raphael had lost some limbs here.  It was no longer so strange to be able to think of his previous kin without regret to their deaths and Paimon wondered briefly if Lucifer’d let him have a go at the archangel.  It was hard torturing someone inside a cage, but since it was Lucifer’s cage, he could do it.  Then he wondered if he actually did want a go at the archangel.  Gabriel had strictly avoided that topic, but seemed quite upset by it and Paimon didn’t want to do something that was so repulsive to one of his friends. 

Dismissing those thoughts as unimportant for now, Paimon continued to travel, springing forth a couple hundred years and watching the electricity flicker in and out of existence.  The place between was huge, so it was really unusual to find a particular part of it, but not unheard of.  He had just reached the present time when he felt another presence nearing him and he neatly folded his wings, dropping down onto one of the more solid jut outs and moving around slowly.  It’d be more visible if he was one of the only things not moving even with the static electricity around, and Paimon wasn’t particularly keen on fighting anything right now.  If it were an angel or demon he’d only be too glad, but considering the times they were in now, he doubted any would want to make an unguarded journey.  Slinking further into the darkness and wedging himself under a weird hammer like formation, Paimon watched the other being approach.  Oh, Michael. 

The archangel was one Paimon hadn’t seen in even longer than Raphael and they had never been particularly close before, but because of his proximity to Lucifer Paimon had often met up with him.  Michael was in his true form, but the archdemon had no doubts that Michael didn’t already have a vessel.  Probably one from the past since Dean was Lucifer and there were so few living Winchesters left.  Paimon wished the archangel was wearing a vessel though, it was hard enough to mask his demonic essences without being slowly burnt by grace.   The expression on Michael’s face as he examined the result of Raphael’s wings would have been heartbreaking if Paimon could still feel that emotion.  As it was with no loyalty to Michael in the first place, there was only the knowledge that it was sad.  Much like Michael had looked like when Lucifer rebelled and he had been given the task of throwing his brother down into hell. 

The glimpse of emotion was unnerving though, as it turned to one of rage, directed somewhere far off.  Twisting further underneath the hammer, Paimon tried not to think of why it was unnerving, spectacularly failing.  A really common practice in hell was torturing souls loved ones in front of them, illusions if they were in heaven, and real ones if they were in hell.  Michael wasn’t stupid, he’d know that if Lucifer got Raphael into the cage, he’d never see his brother again.  The required payback for this would be targeting those Lucifer loved—ignoring the fact that that had caused Raphael’s imprisonment in the first place.  And Paimon knew without any sense of misplaced self-worth that if him or Castiel were attacked, Lucifer would do whatever it took to get between them and harm’s way.  The archangel had never been like that previously and it had always been easier to protect him, but since being Dean, Lucifer had grown hugely protective.  The incidents with Castiel had shown that if nothing else.  Emotions got people killed, and they would do the same to Lucifer if he confronted Michael while protecting one of his own.   

Trying desperately to get away from the thought of Lucifer dying, Paimon looked back at the archangel for distraction.  Any expression he had shown was gone now and Michael moved away, taking the heat of his grace with him.  The archangel’s grace churned in surprise suddenly and he stopped as if he knew something was there, causing Paimon’s breath to catch.  Michael extended small tendrils of grace that searched around him, one coming dangerously close to where Paimon had now frozen.  Luckily it didn’t seem like the archangel planned to search long, for he started to reign in his grace soon after releasing it, the churning calming.  With one last long look at the aftermath of exploding grace, Michael was gone, returning to heaven without a backwards thought.  Paimon waited a while longer to make sure he had left, and then threw himself towards earth, landing just inside Castiel’s garrison’s house.  He gave the angels gathered a short glance to make sure none of them were actively posing a threat, before quickly passing them and entering a room filled with various angel and demon trappings, making sure to avoid the devils traps engrained in the floor and ceiling.  While neither them nor holy fire would hold him for long, they could still trap him and he really didn’t want to have to ask an angel to get him out. 

He set the jars down slightly harsher than he meant to, positioned himself with his back against the wall and just breathed.


	2. Motels, Restaurants, and Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel, Sam and Paimon go after Famine, Meg continues the hunt Lucifer sent her on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part with the horseman is before the last chapter of this installment, so it's just like a look back at how they dealt with Famine.   
> Next installment will be back to Lucifer and Castiel, then things will move pretty quickly from there. Not necessarily posting quickly, but the story itself.   
> Also, can you let me know which character you like best for writing from their POV other than Castiel or Lucifer? I have an idea of what happens after the next part, but I don't know who I should write it from yet.

"Of course we're immune, just not completely" Paimon heard Gabriel answer around a mouthful of candy.  The archdemon grinned and snuggled closer, tucking his head into Gabriel's side and peeking out to look at Sam.  The hunter looked desperate, blood around his mouth, handcuffed to a sink and unconsciously trying to get away.  The whole situation was really funny actually, a joke just missing the punch line.  An archangel, an archdemon and a hunter sitting in a motel room...

"Not completely." Sam repeated almost mockingly, licking his lips "But you can still kill Famine right? Lucifer killed War"

"Yes and that's cause that was Lucifer." Gabriel replied patronizingly.  Apparently Famine made both of them nasty, Paimon thought wonderingly, he had to make sure he didn’t say anything in case he also became bitchy. "I think we should just cut off his ring, much simpler"

"That would require you moving though" Paimon protested, returning to the conversation "And then I'd have to go find Castiel or Lucifer"

Gabriel snorted, "I still think it’s hilarious that you're starved for contact with anyone you're loyal to. It really doesn't make sense"

"Fuck off" Paimon growled, closing his eyes in irritation.  Maybe he should just go find one of the others, they'd probably be much more accommodating.  Well, at least Lucifer would.  Anyways, it’d be much nicer than sitting around with these two squabbling wolves.  Oh crap, now _he_ was getting bitchy.

The crunching of more candy along with Sam speaking again broke Paimons train of thought, the hunters voice low and like it was slipping out against his will "I can still taste it"

Gabriel slipped another sucker into his mouth and looked at Sam, Paimon also deciding that maybe he should pay attention too—Sam was watching Paimon like he was the candy Gabriel was eating.  Not that Paimon was too worried, it’s just that now that Paimon was thinking clearer, Lucifer wouldn’t be too happy if the hunter died or got even more hyped up on demon blood.

Before anyone knew that Famine was free, they had  arrived in this town, hearing about some sort of angelic disturbance and Sam had gone off to talk to some people who could’ve known something about it.  Paimon had gotten back to the hotel which was Sam’s base of operation for the day, and the hunter had attacked him, high on a demon he had previously drained dry.  Since there was still no word about Famine, Paimon had fought back and probably would’ve killed Sam if Gabriel hadn’t shown up and yelled at the archdemon about Famine.  From there they had calmed down some, Gabriel handcuffed Sam to a sink and sat down to eat some snapped up candy, allowing Paimon to relax beside him. 

Gabriel jostled Paimon again out of his thoughts and the archdemon let out a whine of protest, shutting his mouth with a snap as he realized what he had done.  To Paimons further surprise, Gabriel stood up and walked over to Sam, pulling the sucker out of his own mouth and shoving it into Sam’s. Paimon gaped for a few seconds before recalling what they had been talking about and bursting into laughter.  Sam looked surprised, but he hasn't spat out the sucker, just staring as Gabriel ambled back over to Paimon and picked up a chocolate bar, nonchalant as you please.

"Dude! You just-" Paimon was cut off as Gabriel flicked him with grace, pointedly turning away though he still let Paimon sit near him.  Oh wow, this was perfectly hilarious, finally the punch line to the joke.  He stifled a giggle, determined to use this teasing material. 

His amusement earned him another cuff and Gabriel glared admonishingly, pretending to be serious.  “Now before Paimon starts being a dick, we should figure out how to deal with Famine.  Sam isn’t going, I doubt Paimon can go, and as long as I bring candy I could go.  So you two could just wait here-”

“You are not leaving me alone with him” Sam interrupted, speaking for the both of them and Paimon made sure to nod fiercely in agreement.  He could handle being in the same place as a horseman and being near Sam would just aggravate the hunters hunger.  Plus that would mean Paimon’d have to let Gabriel out of his sight, and then he would probably lead to him flying off and attaching himself to Castiel or Lucifer.  That could get kinda awkward, considering how much time those two were spending together and what activities that got up to.

“I can handle it, as long as I can see you I’ll be fine.” Paimon persuaded “I can deal with the demons and you can focus on the horseman”

“And you’ll be good on your own?” Gabriel asked Sam, concern a light undertone in his voice.  Paimon didn’t wait to hear Sam’s answer, instead standing up and moving away from Gabriel just to prove he could.  It wasn’t terrible to not be touching, but he did have to keep the archangel in his sights at all times.  That was what Paimon was starved for, the knowledge that his angels were safe.  It wasn’t that possessive drive that Lucifer had, but more of a reassurance that everyone Paimon was more than a little bit loyal to could take care of themselves and were able to ask if they needed help.  Lucifer, Castiel and Paimons garrisons were connected to him by garrison radios, so it actually worked out nicely that Gabriel was present.

Gabriel stood up at last, but instead of spreading his wings to fly, he walked over to Sam and crouched down in front of the hunter, retrieving a handful of candy from his pocket and putting it in Sam’s lap. “Now you can eat that”

“Uh, thanks” Sam tried, looking confused.  Gabriel just beamed for a second before he seemed to realize what he was doing the smile quickly turned into a cheeky grin.  He reached forwards and grabbed one of the candy pieces off of Sam’s lap, grinning like a wolf as he unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth.

“You don’t get that one though, I still like cherry better than you” Gabriel had safely managed to diffuse the situation with causing the reappearance of Sam’s bitchface, but Paimon made sure to get a jab at him as they spread wings for flight.

“It’s okay if you don’t give him cherry candy now, but at least get him a cherry ring pop for the wedding” Paimon advised, completely innocent, “Wouldn’t want him getting jealous of your mistress before you’re even married.”

 “Oh it’s all good, totally planned out.  Ring pops, Oreo ice cream cake, sugar cane, we’re even going to have frozen lemonade as a snack food, you know, for mingling.  And don’t even worry, jealousy won’t be an issue, we’re not inviting you” Gabriel replied without missing a beat, then hesitated “That is, if you can stand the time apart.  We do all know how clingy you can get.”

“That hurts that you want to separate us,” Paimon gasped, throwing a hand over his heart.  “You expect me to spend more time than I need to away from the gorgeous, mouthwatering and downright delectable frozen food called frozen lemonade?  I’m aghast at the very suggestion”

“Please stop talking about a wedding that’s never going to happen and go kill Famine” Sam begged, interrupting Gabriel who had been about to reply.

“Well now you’re wounding me!” Gabriel protested, taking a few staggering steps closer to Paimon. “I’m going to be left at the altar!  Oh demon-friend, whatever shall I do”

“It’ll be alright” Paimon hushed, greatly over exaggerating a flourish that summoned a handkerchief—a skill he had never actually used with handkerchiefs before but hey, there could be a first time for everything—which he handed over ever so delicately to the archangel.  Sam thumped his head against the wall behind him in exasperation as Gabriel took the handkerchief and loudly pretended to blow his nose, but Paimon was pleased to note that he looked like he was trying not to smile.  Ha.  No one could avoid the amusement of their antics for long. 

“Oh Sammy-boy, you have broken my heart, but I shall endeavor to move on if that is what you wish of me.  Farewell, and may your life be full of many women and vodka” Gabriel bowed, flicking his wings open at the same time and leaving, Paimon disappearing a moment after.  They landed next to a restaurant, the smell of human death heavy in the air, but not quite enough to settle Paimon’s mirth, so when Gabriel strolled into the building Famine was in, they were both still laughing. 

It probably would’ve been a better idea to calm down a little before facing Famine, but still, in relation to the time taken to bug Sam, cutting the horseman’s ring off was pretty swift.  There was a bunch of yapping about the apocalypse, attempts to play off of hungers,—leading to a few chocolate bars quickly consumed and an almost desperate grace delve to make sure no injures had been sustained—a couple helpful and traitorous demons who wanted to get this show on the road already, and then Famine was gone.  His ring in Gabriel’s possession.

“I’m not sure it worked” Gabriel announced, rolling the ring in-between his fingers. “I still feel the overwhelming urge to eat a couple bucket loads of candy.”

Paimon walked over to Gabriel very solemnly, reaching out and resting a comforting hand on the archangel’s shoulder. “Don’t fret dear Gabriel, I can assure you that it worked.  Nothing went wrong with Famine.  I’m afraid you just happen to have contracted a sweet tooth.  It was a long time ago, and is no longer a reversible disease.”

“Say it isn’t so!” Gabriel pleaded, shaking his head in despair at the affirmation in Paimon’s eyes. 

“There’s nothing we can do.  You’re just going to have to learn to live with it” Paimon said, removing his hand after a beat and stepping back to look around the restaurant, affecting giving Gabriel some space.

 The sound of crunching brought his attention back to the archangel, who now looked properly depressed—if not for the shining amusement in his eyes. He broke off another bite of the lollypop and dissolved into a grin before speaking.  “Guess there’s no reason to fight it then.”

 

~*~

 

Meg crowed in victory, scrambling backwards until she hit the wall, gasping heavily and in pain but feeling so _alive_.   She clutched her prize to her chest and watched as the creature in front of her died.  It was a medium sized beast, covered in a thick crab-like shell but the shape of a tree with long tangling limbs.  Eyes blinked and rolled from the base of each of its limbs and there was a gaping hole through its side where its largest branch used to attach, the branch she now held.  It might have survived the loss and still managed to kill her except for the angel blade Lucifer had given her to gank it with, one straight stab slipping under its shell and stabbing whatever the thing had for a soul.  It let out one last trumpeting bellow from an invisible mouth and died an anticlimactic death for all its struggles.  Going still and flaking away until a normal looking tree grew in front of her, albeit it was growing through thick cement and inside an active but currently vacant construction site, but mostly normal. 

Meg didn’t know what it was called, just that the branch she split open now held four fist sized egg shaped seeds that Lucifer needed.  Pulling them out she grimaced at the squelching noise and carefully wrapped them up in a cloth she had brought for this exact purpose.  Grabbing her bag and unceremonially throwing them in, she left the scene of the crime.  She walked causally away and onto the street, ignoring the sirens gradually coming closer, cops who arrived only when she was already many blocks away.  She entered a non descript alleyway she had set up as a safety point and pushed over a bunch of old newspapers, sitting down on the plastic chair their absence revealed.

Only once she had made sure no one was around to see her did she reopen the bag and pull out the objects inside, placing them on her lap.  Of the twelve items Lucifer had told her to get she already had eight.  Due to the creature falling for her bait of hamburgers—hamburgers! Really?—she was far ahead of schedule.  The first thing she put away was a nondescript foot high vase, not even properly glazed or baked yet and so useless for holding water.  The second thing actually had a name and was the most precious thing on the list, a small silver clock with two dolphins jumping over it.  A time infused object that could do many different things.  It could force time to still around its holder and create a barrier with it, aging even immortal enemies, it could render the user invisible, act as a boost for power, it had many uses.  She couldn’t use it now—had to give it to Lucifer unexploited—but if things went south this would definitely be something she kept, not that she thought Lucifer would fail, it was just always good to keep a contingency  plan.  The third and forth objects were thin obsidian feathers of a guard angel who was long gone.  Feathers that cost her quite a lot to retrieve, her shoulder decided to remind her as she winced.  Getting stabbed with an angel blade, even not fatally, seriously sucked.  Anyways, the last item, the four seeds.  Next thing was relatively easy, just a combination of different spices that she could get from a ‘seedbank’ the humans came up with.  She was going to the biggest one they had, a place called the Millennium Seed Bank Project.  The humans used it to preserve plant seeds in case of disasters or something like that.

Lucifer hadn’t told her exactly what he planned to do with any of the stuff, just explained that he needed it for a ritual to trap Michael with.   He planned on using the Garden of Eden, an area God Himself cordoned off limits.  Not the cover garden in heaven, but the actually garden Adam and Eve had lived in at the beginning of human history.  One God had broken off from the fabric of reality and then built a substitute for the angels in its place.  It was a great honor to be trusted with this job, especially since—from what information she had gathered—everyone else thought Lucifer’d be putting Michael in his cage alongside Raphael.  She would set everything up except the words, he’d tell her when it was time, she’d give it to him, Michael would be trapped, and then she would be allowed a place of luxury.  He had only given her the clipped up watered down version and she did have some suspicions on how he’d be getting Michael into the Garden, but it wasn’t her place to question.  Especially considering Lucifer had actually been playing as Dean when she threatened him.

And hadn’t that been a shock, Meg thought with no small measure of hindsight amusement, standing up and pulling a black ring off her finger.  She didn’t know how long Lucifer had been Dean but assumed, seeing as it had been long enough for him to get possessive of Castiel, that it had been a while.  That in and of itself was another funny thing, maybe it had even been Lucifer who had gotten Castiel to rebel against heaven.  Lucifer smelt like the seraph and showed all signs of completely owning Castiel, so the devil must’ve done something to Castiel and the rest of the hunters who had been with Dean.  Manipulation had always been a useful trick of his.

Getting back to her task, Meg twisted the ring, making it come apart in two halves.  One half she put back on her finger and the other she held to her mouth and whispered, recalling the name of the ridiculous human seedbank, up in the cold parts of earth.  The ring glowed white and she threw it up in the air, stepping back as it grew larger, opening up into a gateway that she promptly stepped through.  Once on the other side she grabbed the edges of the gateway and compressed it, returning it when ring sized back to her finger to meld with its other half.  An ingenious little creation it was, would kill anyone else who tried to go through it except for the person wearing its other half and was useful in general.  Hiking the bag higher up on her shoulder she glanced around the cold and large warehouse she had stepped into.  At the rate she was going she might actually be done before Michael attacked.  With a smile and a slight shiver in the cool air, she stepped forwards. 


End file.
